The Adventures of Squirky the Alien

A Children's Book Series on Adoption

Don’t Constrain God



Don’t constrain God.

This is what a wise friend (and fellow adoptive parent) told me  when I asked her: What do I do when people tell me that I am lacking (Christian) faith in adopting? 

Most of my friends would never tell me that to my face, but I won’t be surprised if some of them think that way.

It had to take someone I don’t know very well to suggest  that I need to pray more boldly. Ask for the moon. Move the mountains. God rewards those who put their faith in him in impossible circumstances, doesn’t He?

After that, the person shared with me other “miracle” stories of women getting pregnant/having healthy babies to reinforce her point.

And all I could say at that point was, “Ah ok.”

The next day, I thought about what that person said and the circular path that led us to adoption. My very first “parenthood” prayer was this: “Dear God, I’d love to be a mother some day.” And He did make it happen with lots of tears and fears and struggles, but boy, did he make it happen in the most wonderful way when C came into our lives. My husband and I would like to categorically state that C is one of the greatest blessings in our lives and we would not have it any other way.

And so the next time this kind of comment happens, here’s how I’d like to respond:

“Yes, I believe God answers all my prayers. But sometimes, the answer takes you on an unexpected path. Sometimes, the miracle comes in a different form. The Bible tells us about adoptees who did wonderful things for God and His people – Moses (adopted by the Pharoh’s daughter), Queen Esther (adopted by Mordecai), Samuel (adopted by Eli). Forming a family by adoption is not any less than forming a family biologically.”

And yes: “Don’t constrain God.”

11 thoughts on “Don’t Constrain God

  1. Thanks for the reminder, Melanie. I’ve had so many people telling me that I should ask God to bless us with children naturally, that IVF isn’t “natural”, and that I need to show more faith. I always feel so upset when I hear these comments, because they have no idea how hard we have prayed. I believe that our children are given to us by God, be it through IVF or adoption, and it hurts when people say they aren’t “God’s will”. Thank you for this timely post, and we will not constrain God.

  2. There are people out there with a very strange understanding of faith and the bible and God’s promises.

    Don’t take what they say to heart, cos we know better. 🙂

  3. Pingback: Are You Happy, Mummy?

    • Dear Adeline, am praying that God surrounds you with peace and joy as you prepare for what lies ahead. He is with you and your family (hugs).

  4. Hi Melanie,

    A common friend gifted me your first book and I really love it. Will look out for books 2 and 3 in the stores. You are doing a great thing. 🙂

    I believe that adoption is not a faithless act. On the contary, it takes alot of faith and love to accept a child and make him your responsibility. It is a great act of mercy and compassion which God would want us to show. I would love for a chance to adopt. If God is willing. 🙂

  5. We adopted our special-needs daughter from foster care. She came into our home in the summer of ’93 and 2 weeks later, after trying to figure out why I was SO SICK (I thought it was the stress of having a new toddler in the home) I found out that I was expecting our son. Talk about a shock. I was told that my chances of having a baby naturally were slim to none. But, God knew what he was doing. And I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. From the time we put in our application, got approved, took classes and got her placement, it was 9 months almost exactly to the day. I always tell her that the process of getting her was like a pregnancy. It was alot of work but the end result was her. 🙂

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