Don’t constrain God.
This is what a wise friend (and fellow adoptive parent) told me when I asked her: What do I do when people tell me that I am lacking (Christian) faith in adopting?
Most of my friends would never tell me that to my face, but I won’t be surprised if some of them think that way.
It had to take someone I don’t know very well to suggest that I need to pray more boldly. Ask for the moon. Move the mountains. God rewards those who put their faith in him in impossible circumstances, doesn’t He?
After that, the person shared with me other “miracle” stories of women getting pregnant/having healthy babies to reinforce her point.
And all I could say at that point was, “Ah ok.”
The next day, I thought about what that person said and the circular path that led us to adoption. My very first “parenthood” prayer was this: “Dear God, I’d love to be a mother some day.” And He did make it happen with lots of tears and fears and struggles, but boy, did he make it happen in the most wonderful way when C came into our lives. My husband and I would like to categorically state that C is one of the greatest blessings in our lives and we would not have it any other way.
And so the next time this kind of comment happens, here’s how I’d like to respond:
“Yes, I believe God answers all my prayers. But sometimes, the answer takes you on an unexpected path. Sometimes, the miracle comes in a different form. The Bible tells us about adoptees who did wonderful things for God and His people – Moses (adopted by the Pharoh’s daughter), Queen Esther (adopted by Mordecai), Samuel (adopted by Eli). Forming a family by adoption is not any less than forming a family biologically.”
And yes: “Don’t constrain God.”